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7.31.2004
Re: Seacliff
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7.28.2004
Fish Tank @ Empress of China
making our way to the north beach jazz festival
7.24.2004
Summer of '66
7.21.2004
2-step plan
7.15.2004
Notorious P.I.G.
Re: Dear Aglaya
- 'I don't at all feel like joking with you, sir. I'll see Ippolit myself. Please let him know. And I think it's very wrong of you, for it's very callous to think like that and judge a man's soul as you judge Ippolit. You have no tenderness: only truth and that's why you're unfair.'
The prince pondered.
'I don't think you are fair to me,' he said, 'for I don't find anything wrong in his thinking as he does, for we are all inclined to think like that. Besides, he may not have thought it at all, but only felt it -- he longed to meet people for the last time and earn their respect and love. Those, you see, are very excellent feelings; only, somehow, it didn't turn out like that -- it's his illness and something else! Besides, with some people everything turns out well, and with others as badly as can be. ...'
I suppose you added that because you were thinking of yourself, didn't you?' Aglaya observed.
'Yes, I was thinking of myself,' replied the prince, not noticing the note of malice in her question.
'All the same I should never have fallen asleep in your place. It seems to me that you have only to sit down somewhere to fall asleep immediately. That's not very nice of you.'
'But I haven't slept all night, and I walked and walked afterwards. I went where they had the music -- --'
'What music?'
'Where they were playing yesterday, and then I came here, sat down, thought and thought and fell asleep.'
'Oh, so that's what it was! That does make a difference in your favor. ... And why did you go to the bandstand?'
'I don't know. I just did.'
'Very well, very well -- afterwards. You keep interrupting me. What do I care if you did go to the bandstand? What woman was it you were dreaming about?'
'It was -- about -- you saw here. ...'
'Oh, I understand, I quite understand. You're very much in -- -- How did you dream of her? What was she like? No, I don't want to know anything,' she snapped with vexation. 'Don't interrupt me. ...'
She waited a little, as though trying to pluck up courage or to overcome her vexation.
'You see, what I've asked you to come here for is this -- I want to ask you to be my friend. Why are you staring at me all of a sudden like that?' she added, almost angrily.
The prince really did look at her very intently at that moment, noticing that she was beginning to blush all over again. Whenever that happened, the more she blushed, the more she seemed to be angry with herself, which could be plainly seen in her flashing eyes; ordinarily, a moment later, she would transfer her anger to the person she was talking to, whether he was to blame or not, and begin quarrelling with him. Deeply conscious of her own morbid diffidence and shyness, she usually avoided entering into a conversation and was more silent than her sisters, and sometimes even a little too silent. When, however, she simply had to say something, especially in such delicate circumstances, she began the conversation with an extremely haughty and seemingly defiant air. She always knew beforehand when she was beginning or was about to begin to blush.
'Maybe you do not wish to accept my proposal?' she asked, looking haughtily at the prince.
'Yes, I do, only it's quite unnecessary -- I mean, I never thought it necessary for you to make such a proposal,' said the prince in confusion.
'What did you think then? Why do you suppose I asked you to come here? What's in your mind? But I expect you must be taking me for a little fool, as they all do at home.'
'I didn't know they took your for a fool. I -- I don't think you are.'
'You don't? That's very clever of you. You put it very cleverly, I must say.'
'I think that you are perhaps very clever sometimes,' the prince went on. 'Just now you said something very clever. You said in reference to my opinion of Ippolit: "There's nothing but truth here and therefore it's unfair." I shall remember that and think about it.'
Re: head games
